If You Wanna Make The World A Better Place, Take A Look At Yourself And Make A Change.

iwanttohateyoubutican't

2010-06-22T09:27:00.000-07:00

I have to hate you because i know you’re never going to come back
I find other faces to remember but yours is the only one in my head
You broke me and left me in pieces, with just me to put the back together again
And your voice plays on and on in my mind
Your laugh brings a tingle to my spine
Just one last look and i’ll be fine
For now.

I find no joy in doing this anymore

2010-06-21T00:42:00.001-07:00

Bye Bye

i'm the best there is yet.

2010-06-02T08:01:00.000-07:00

i just came up with a really egoistic and obnoxious song. I LIKE IT.

it's all about me and how cool i am and how no one can ever beat me and how i'm the best and bla bla bla and the chorus is like "HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA". yup. i was damn bored k and i was holding my guitar and i was in a good mood. so why not? i was also sick of all my sad, cheesy songs i didn't like.

what i did to you was hurtful

2010-05-27T05:07:00.000-07:00

eh look! i was so skinny! heh heh

WTH WTH WTH WTH WTH. BLOODY BEEETTCHH.
GAH!
whatever la.
anyways, fixed my strings. i'm such an noob at playing the guitar, seriously. but no no no, i'm going to keep trying. though i have been for the past 3 years. i will PRESS ON.

leave me alone

2010-05-22T07:13:00.000-07:00

am i bright enough to shine in your spaces?

2010-05-19T05:55:00.000-07:00

man, today has been a very emotional day. i want to sleep now so it would end but i'm not sleepy yet. i think it's cause of the results. i didn't get a single A and ramita got 5. but i want to look at the bright side, at least i didn't fail anything and i topped the class for physics. haha. i'm proud of ramita though. she worked her butt (oh, what butt?) off.

look, i changed the font. cool right?

every cloud has a silver lining

2010-05-18T05:06:00.000-07:00

eh, who knows.

maybe I'll gain something from all this crap.

OMG

2010-05-16T04:36:00.000-07:00

BOO! YOU SCARED?!

:))

it's damn fun k

waszup.

-------------

i'm so kewl right.

i know. i know.

hard to deny.

if we ever meet again, i'll have so much more to say

2010-05-15T00:57:00.000-07:00

it's funny how time passes so quickly.
it's funny how people change so fast.
it's funny how things can never last.
But we just have to forget our past and bring in the new cast.

i could really use a wish right now

2010-05-14T02:35:00.000-07:00

IT'S OVER!
i've been eating wayy too much. it's time to hit the tracks. kidding. no frikkin way.

face it, nothing's ever going to happen.

it's all fun and games til someone gets hurt

2010-04-13T07:38:00.000-07:00

eh crap.

i'm so tired. revised geog. i feel like a smartass. naadh didn't come today :( boring to the maximum.

and you know what? i just passed punjabi. boooo. i was being a cry baby after getting my results back. i'm so stupid. bloody heershan got the highest in the whole corhord.

i vant to shlap her.

that day aneesha came over. she said she thought like a guy. haha. i asked her if i was pretty. haha. i wasn't being serious ok. then she answered back so honestly. bloody hell. haha. she was like

"uhhhh. ok. um. yah. just take off your braces and you'll look normal."

WAH LAO! haha! yup. can't wait to take them braces off.

-GAH! so annoying. why do i always fall for guys i know i would never in a million years have a chance with?

hairless, i'm so hairless

2010-04-11T05:52:00.000-07:00

teehheee!

my arms are hairless! can you frikkin believe it? I CAN'T! my mom just took my arm and started waxing it and i was like wth is going on! haha. k. now it's done! the hair is gone. i feel good. and i realised i have a few scars cause of what happened a few years ago. bloody hell.

anyways, we had our punjabi exam yesterday. i almost died. tomorrow is results day. i freaking out.

in the name of the father, son, holy spirit amen.

everybody's looking for love

2010-04-07T06:35:00.000-07:00

i didn't really study today. but i did go for tuition. and you know what? i've learnt more things about me. haha. i care.

future ravina shahi, you thought like this in 2010,

-i'm cool.

- i think very highly of myself.

- self-proclamation is the way to go.

- i don't like the way i speak. it is incomprehensible sometimes.

- i think i'm very smart.

- i've loved blue since i was a little abbey. that's why almost everything i wear/carry is blue.

- i'm not as shallow as you think i am.

- i hate it when people make fun of bangladeshi people and other indians. i've tired to stop it. didn't work. so i gave up.

- i hate it that many people can't define indians. when i say i'm indian, i'm indian. and then you ask me "why aren't you dark?". bloody hell. go wiki the term indian before you say anything. there are various types of indians, stupids.

- punjab is a part of india. i'm not a punjab.

- i think i can keep secrets well.

- the only person i tell my secrets to is naadhira. she is the only friend i can trust.

- i'm very hard to work with. i like to do things my way.

- in a situation, i get panicky because i think about the worse possible things that could happen.

- i'm a slight perfectionist.

- my life's a routine. it's bloody boring.

- it's very hard for me to say "i love you". i'm sorry. i can only type it out. i try to say it but it doesn't sound nice. i can only say it to my family members.

- when i want to do something, i do it.

- i think people of the opposite gender are huge distractions. especially if you have got a crush on one of them.

- i am not bilingually inclined (don't know if that makes sense). i suck at languages.

- i'm a bit of an IT person. i like gadgets. (sounds so gay)

- i like to believe i'm funny

- i should be studying for my exams now.

- and i want to find a guy like justin bieber, but not flirtatious. guys like him only go for pretty girls. damn annoying. but he's so handsome.

that should be me

2010-04-06T08:13:00.000-07:00

aww damn.

i've been so irritable lately. didn't bring my spectacles or wear my contacts to school today. so i couldn't see. haha. so schoopeed. gah. i just finished studying for the day. feels good. i finally understand heat capacity. good for me. k really, my life is boring.

we can go nowhere but up

2010-04-01T06:40:00.001-07:00

aww. my tongue is so short. haha. i want it to be like the guy's from kiss. DAMN AWEZUM! i'm addicted to justin bieber's new songs. i'm having a BIEBER FEVER! and it's pretty contagious. he's so handsome. hehe. i look chinese. haha. i know. you must be thinking "wah! now only you know ah?!" no. i knew it a long time ago. but i'm seeing it now. i kinda like it.

oh. it's holiday time. but i have tuition tomorrow. then school on saturday. so it's not really a holiday. but it's alright. at least i don't have to wake up THAT early.

i want an adam's apple like Ramita. it's bloody cool.

let me show you what you're missing, paradise.

2010-03-29T02:35:00.000-07:00

AHHH! the drama camp was awesome to the maximum. though i wasn't really there on day 2, i loved the farewell part. everyone was crying. omg. but i didn't cry. haha. but heart was really breaking. i was gonna cry. but i told myself crying was uncool. so i managed to hold it in. HAHA. but i swear to god, they are the best seniors anyone could ever ever have, really. punjabi school was intense la. kidding. it never really is. but i did learn a lot. earth hour was fun too. i like the t-shirts.

am i jealous of her? no, not really. i am a bit. but it's ok. let her have the limelight now. i'm done. though i do have more flaws than her, it doesn't mean i'm not as beautiful as she is. i am beautiful because i like to believe i am. because it is cool. and looks aren't everything, come on. maybe for you, now, it is but later, you will realise that the person's personality is the most important. and the person's smell, really. i tell you. you MUST smell nice.

i will get what i deserve

2010-03-24T07:51:00.000-07:00

no matter how much shit you are going through, don't let your crappy attitude affect others. when you want me to do something FOR you, at least say "please" and don't treat me like i'm SUPPOSED to do it for you. you want my respect, you would have to treat me with respect too.

mom told me adam khoo's story. so inspirational. he went through so much when he was younger. then he pushed himself and became what he is now.

apple

2010-03-22T06:54:00.000-07:00

whhoaa. my watch light is uber cool.

i like it.

and i like old people too. they are so cute.

i can't wait for our drama camp!

don't turn away

2010-03-20T03:44:00.000-07:00

i was just talking to kavina. missed her so much.

i just ate three whole pizza breads by myself. what a fatty.

oh yaahhh. i saw my hottie today. first time, front view. wah laoooo. so handsome. HAHA

how come for don't forget the lyrics, the US version, the people can sing so well compared to the singaporeans who go for don't forget the lyrics?

singapore- no talent.

i'm kinda busy

2010-03-19T08:09:00.000-07:00

the song telephone doesn't really make much sense.

stupid gaga. if she gets annoyed by someone's calls, just switch the damn phone off. i still love lady gaga though. she's cool

i think i kinda wrote a song. i like the lyrics. but i can't come up with a tune.

AND CAN YOU FRIKKIN BELIEVE IT'S SATURDAY TOMORROW!

and i have school tomorrow. punjabi school. gah. so sucky.

today was a good day. spent it with Kris' and her friend Lissa.

-cause' admit it, douche, i've got more swagger than you do.

eye catcher. jaw dropper, baby, you're a show stopper.

2010-03-18T06:30:00.000-07:00

eee why are my eyes so small?

i think i've changed. i think i'm cooler now. HAHA. i'm so egoistic. i self-proclaim myself as stuff. because i'm cool. i'm so PISSED with me. the last year me. i want to SLAP me. jeeeeeeeezus. which idiot would do that?!! omg. nvm. i was only thirteen(+) then.

MARY: WE ARE AN ESCALATOR
RAVINA: YOU ARE AN ESCALATOR? OH COOL! I WANT TO BE A BRIDGE!!
MARY: LAME LA! HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHA! I MEANT WE ARE at AND ESCALATOR.

yep. went out with drama peeps today. dammmmmn fun! it took us 3 hrs to get to mustafa.

do i still think about you? yeah. all the frikkin time.

what i really want is to see you on a weekend

2010-03-16T04:12:00.000-07:00

boo.

had geog tutorial today. pretty cool. ms lim played songs while teaching us.

aftr that, watched alice in wonderland with naadh. DAMN GOOD, I SWEAR! johnny d can act so well. omg. haha. then we ate at seoul garden. we made the waiter's day. he was laughing with his friends and telling them what we did. damn funny. then naadh and i were like omg. ew. what if he thinks we like him? then she said. nevermind la. we're too kiddish for anyone to think that. HAHHA. we were laughing, crying, shouting and screaming. damn funny. we then went to whitesands' cotton on to find ramita's stuff. then took the train home. bumped into zhaf. what a coinicidence. i knew i was going to see someone i hadn't met for a really long time today. i want to do my homework. but i don't want to at the same time. i'll just get it over and done with.

we are the world, we are the children

2010-03-15T04:48:00.001-07:00

ee. my face looks weird compared to hers.

this is why we're best friends. no, that's not face paint on our faces. it's actually oil pastels. i got huge pimples after that.

naadh and i got this christmas tree thingy. IT'S DAMN COOL! it started snowing after a while and looked like this.

peace is my middle name

i rock and she rolls. geddit?

-------
Ravina, no doubt, you have missed out on something big.

it's you.

2010-03-14T07:36:00.000-07:00

I was so insulted by what my brother said just now. bloody asshole. he went for some adam khoo camp then he had to write down all the names of the people he loved and he wrote everyone's name in my family but mine. then he told me. he seemed pretty proud of it. i doubt he'd hate me forever. i don't have anything against him though. he scolded me for talking yesterday. whatever lah. of course i'm hurt. but i'll get over it. he's only 10. he obviously doesn't mean it, right.

justin bieber is so handsome. adam lambert is frikkin hot. rachel saw him yesterday. i told naadh. both of us were jealous. we both cried when we heard adam lambert's voice today. it's not our fault his eyes are so nice.

you got it all downtown

2010-03-12T04:36:00.000-08:00

shit. baby is stuck in my head.

i need a massage, seriously.

ooh. got our report cards today. i'm pretty satisfied. the hard work kinda paid off. and for remarks, my teacher wrote very nice things. i was so happy.

social interview just asked me if i wanted to marry you. bad timing. i wanted to forget you. now, i can't get you out of my mind.

all at once

2010-03-11T01:28:00.000-08:00

gah. i'm sick. and i have a major head ache cause yesterday, during our drama performance, i got knee-ed in the head. haha.

oh yeah. got back all our results. got As and Bs and a C. stupid physics. i got a major ish breakout. and all the acne patches are gone. shiatza.

-can't wait to see your face again.

pros and cons

2010-03-07T01:13:00.000-08:00

i'm so superficial.

yesterday was a long, tiring day. all i ate was a few corntos chips, 4 or five spoons of rice and then a delicious sandwich from laselle. i wanna go to laselle. i think.

- i know you're the one.

I'm going back to the start.

2010-03-04T06:46:00.000-08:00

'cause we're still kids who just wanna have fun.

i admit, i was pretty pissed at first, until today.

I realized there was no point hurting other people to get what i wanted, be it revenge, be it the regaining of my dignity, be it anything. the only thing i have to do is be myself. be nice and talk to the person as maturely and possible. I'm taking no body's side. getting involved would get me into shit.

it's that artistic gleam

2010-03-03T03:38:00.000-08:00

you know that I'll be there for you 24/7.

girl, you've got style.

2010-03-01T04:14:00.000-08:00

i passed a math! i'm so happy, i could throw a party.

i didn't do that great. passed by 5 marks. HAHA.

did well in geog. the paper was bloody easy. 19/20. PRO. i still aced it.

you know what? everything has changed. it all happened overnight. i've started to see things clearly. and the most shocking thing happened today. it was damn funny.

damn, what's not to adore?

now is not the time.

2010-02-27T17:10:00.000-08:00

-----

we had a punjabi school sports day thing yesterday. ramita, aneesha, heershan, parveen, amreet, jyot, pavan, some sec 4s and others and i were cheerleaders. bloody tiring. i thought i was going to die. we (bedok) were against khalsa and clementi. our running thing- fail. but we got first place for cheerleading and we're getting medals next week. cool. we had to jump and scream like non-stop from 8am to 6pm. but i didn't lose my voice. which is good. i just got burnt- bad. but it was fun. bedok had the least people and we looked so pathetic. and the other centres were booing us. it was funny.

i don't think i slept today. didn't feel like i did. i "woke up"at 7/8 ish. i think i should be studying now. i don't know why. yesterday, i was telling myself that i should be studying at home but tests just ended this week. i'm gonna do math now.

sideways

2010-02-25T05:33:00.000-08:00

aww. christofer drew is so cute.

common tests are over. i thought i could ace all of the tests. not very possible. especially not for math. die. but i will pass. i must pass. hahaha. yesterday, when i was in bed, i thought of the math equation, 2 to the power of 40 + 2 to the power of 40 = 2 to the power of w. and i found out the answer, and i realized how stupid i was cause i got it wrong and i started crying. HAHA. so schoopeed. then harms told me his cotton wool story. HAHAHHAHAHA. k. i want to watch andrew garcia on american idol now.

FUTURISTICA

2010-02-19T07:50:00.000-08:00

you're the one that i want.

dilemma

2010-02-18T05:42:00.000-08:00

for the past few days, i've been think about my future. and i talked to a teacher who went to poly in our school. and yeah. i can't take other courses as modules. i feel so stupid. so now, i have to pick one. if i really want to do what i want to do, i'd go to JC first then to poly. but i'd be old. i'm deciding now cause i wanna do a direct poly admission. yes.

make the impossible possible.

2010-02-17T03:55:00.000-08:00

i feel the need to work hard and score an A for all my subjects. i am going to do so, i don't care. HA. and i'm gonna be eligible for direct poly admission to singapore poly for mass com. and my modules will be music and audio tech and veterinary science. cool right. yes. almost finished my revision. i feel good.

guess who's back

2010-02-15T09:54:00.001-08:00

we're back from KL. we checked out kavina's crib. damn nice. i want to live there too. her school can be seen form her room. she's leaving this saturday. i don't want her to go. but she has to:(.

you know what? i'm so pissed off. i don't know why. i do know why. i just can't explain why. i have three reasons why. 1. because i can't believe i know people like THAT, that judgmental. the rest i cannot explain.

oh yeah. i use lah, wah lao/wah, wth, haha and omg a lot. it's a bad habit. but i feel without it, i would not be able to show/ tell/ exaggerate what i'm trying to say through msn or texts. i know it's annoying. but deal with it.

the smell of you in every single dream i dream

2010-02-11T23:45:00.000-08:00

man, that doll is creepy.

---------

i want to learn how to play the ukelele so bad. i'll get one soon. delia's over. ram and delia are studying. geeks.

what good is all you have?

2010-02-11T05:11:00.000-08:00

english today was so fun. we were talking about marriage. and i don't know if i want to get married. some of us are actually quite deep. and after reading stephanie's essay thing, i realised how stupid i am. and my brother has anger issues. he just threw a fit at me. HAHA.

i want to name my future son Iyan. not pronounced Ian but pronounced Iyaan. yeah. so nice right.

i wish i were an octopus so i could hug 10 people at the same time!

2010-02-09T03:50:00.000-08:00

through the process of teasing each other and calling each other names, i fell for you. it was when i looked into your eyes, i fell for you. it was when you said or did ridiculous things, i fell for you. i fell into this big black hole that i now can't get out of, no matter how much i want to.

HAHAHAHHA. so emo and cheesy ish at the same time. omg. it's so hot. stupid global warming. i should be studying. but it's too hot. and so, i don't feel like it. oh yeah! ramita and i are cheerleaders for our punjabi school sports day thingy. HAHHA. so gay. they shouldn't get guys to do it. stupid. they are damn annoying, i swear.

something big

2010-02-08T06:06:00.000-08:00

the party was so good. more photos but don't feel like uploading them. i'm a lazy bum. my hair was a mess. HA. but it's ok. oh yeah. it was a special day for me because it was my first time performing with my sexy guitar.

walked home with rachey today. talked about things. i think too much. but after the talk, everything seemed much clearer. so, it's good. and OMG, i can't smile. can't wait to take them braces off.

you're a waste of time.

bust your windows

2010-02-04T03:43:00.000-08:00

I lost a kilogram!
yay!
my tuition teacher didn't scold me today :)
and common tests start on the 22nd ):
i need to talk to the class tomorrow. i'm shit scared but it's alright. everything will be okay.
my ankle is better now. it's not THAT pain anymore. i hate wearing that ugly bandage. so ugly. smartass dawn sprained both her ankles.
i love GLEE! can't wait for the new season to begin. downloaded all my favourite glee songs. i'm so happy.
I CANNOT WAIT FOR SATURDAY.
oh yeah oh yeah.
i'll show you my thinning hair. i cried so much. but i'll wash my hair with egg every week. they say it works.

after

before

i <3 this.

go 3.7 go go 3.7

2010-02-02T06:07:00.000-08:00

camp corri was good.

i sprained my ankle and i'm burnt.

oh. and i love 3.7. <3

i don't know how much this heart can take

2010-01-27T00:56:00.000-08:00

i love you, Naadhira although i don't show it. i'm sorry for not being the best person ever. i don't care what the others say about you. i'll be there for you, always.

days and days is such a beautiful song. my heart softens every time i listen to it. do you get that feeling?

oh yeah. went to the salvation army with nicole lim, nicole anne, kris' and fatin. nicole and i got 4 blazers.originally 20 bucks each. the man then gave us 60 dollar discount.

and omg! there is this guy on youtube. i love him. he's so good. today, i saw him on american idol. DAMN! the one on aj rafael's left. so our right. he deleted all his videos on youtube. :( guess what? he sang a maroon 5 song.

invincible

2010-01-26T05:41:00.000-08:00

I-squish-your-face.

school's bad. really bad.

i have a secret. i think i have changed. in a way. no, that's not my secret.

i love kavina. don't know what i'd do without her. thanks to her,

i've learnt that No one can hurt me but me.

i've learnt that silence speaks a thousand words.

i've learnt that as long as you know you're right, you'd be happy. you don't need to prove anything to anyone.

i've taken about 1 or 2 years to learn this. i finally got it.

i love you kav. i'll miss you SO much.

ARTIFICIAL

2010-01-21T06:38:00.001-08:00

i don't get it. if you don't like someone, why do you PRETEND you do in front of them. like be like "OMG! I LOVE YOU BOB!". wth. you'd just be making everything even worse. you talk behind her back, talking about how much you hate her but when she's with you, she suddenly becomes your BESTEST FRIEND IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD. or you know what's even better? not talking about her. i don't want to know about her. you think i care? i don't. if she were as important to me as you are, then i'd care. to me, she's just an acquaintance. i'm not the person you should be gossiping to. i don't care. seriously. i don't even pay attention when you're talking anymore cause all you do is gossip. COME ON! you're so much better than that. no life? get one. you know what sucks? i'd never left your side. ever. i'm there with you, for you throughout. when you're with her, it's as if i don't exist. if you think she's so cool, SAY SHE'S COOL. there's no need to lie or be afraid to admit it. because it's damn obvious you think she's the awesomest and most fascinating person in the school. so why lie?

salvation army

2010-01-21T01:28:00.000-08:00

got all this for 15 bucks. whoa. PRO!

cold

2010-01-20T01:53:00.000-08:00

i'm become pretty cold, i feel. i've become more tolerant. i like that. i sleep in class. denise gave me a sugar rush thingy to wake me up. it works. you know what? today i thought to myself: why do we blog? why do we have facebook? why do we tweet? why do we set pms on msn? who is going to care? then i realised that everyone is an attention seeker, whether we like it or not. we seek attention. from someone. it's not a bad thing. but i admire people who don't do all that. like ramita. fine, she has a blog and facebook and twitter and yes she does set pms on msn. but hers, it's different. she doesn't even use it. oh. and rachel ng. and dawn. and caroline. and mabel. they don't do this. so, from now on, i will not blog or use facebook or twitter. i will not set pms on msn. fine, i will. but once in a while. like once a week or something. then slowly, the habit will go away. i'm not saying that doing all this is bad. it's just that I don't like it. for myself. i want to keep a lower profile. haha. try.

lost along the way

2010-01-16T04:30:00.000-08:00

man this sucks. i've lost it.

camera can't lie

2010-01-14T02:41:00.000-08:00

the kind of feeling i can't explain. like i'm lost along the way.

- i thought you were gone. i hadn't talked to or heard of you for so long. two weeks, three weeks, a month, a year and then forever.

everything we had is no longer there.

2010-01-13T03:37:00.000-08:00

it's not worth it, getting angry. it's not worth it. you're an asshole with no feelings.

porkchop

maybe it's time for miracles

2010-01-11T21:14:00.001-08:00

I want some more curry. i can taste it on my tongue.

social reject seyyy.

I'M IN JAIL!

------

yeah. i'm bloody bored. didn't go to school today. sick have a soar throat. my voice sounds damn sexy la.

what's going on?

2010-01-10T00:50:00.000-08:00

ramita's eyes.

my eyes. see the eye colour difference? SO JEALOUS LAH

SHE LIE! HEELS! HEELS!

i miss my blue braces bands.

Amit looks more like me than Ramita.

----

my arms are so hairy. HAHA. like a man.

wassup sexy

2010-01-09T06:39:00.000-08:00

I LOOK SO SEXY LAH! ew. damn disgusting. i can't take it. HAHA

-------------

i have a soar throat. damn pain. cca orientation today.

me: HEY! JOIN DRAMA!

girl's friend: NO! DON'T JOIN DRAMA LAH!

girl: yeah man.

ME: you are making the wrong choice.

girl: *gives me the weird face*

---

crap. i felt like a freak lah. haha. but it was funny. cause she won't know me and i won't know her. so it's okay. yeah. my throat's damn pain. omg. supposed to go chicken rice/ satay today. cancelled. then went with my mom and sissies and brozas to a hawker centre at tamp market. yeah. big deal.

- you know what? i think i'll get over everything within a month or so.

-I still miss some of you guys. omgah.

sing me a song

2010-01-08T04:50:00.000-08:00

oh yeah. JIC (just in case), it's no big deal when my teacher hits me. i'm used to it. and he doesn't do it with anger. so, it's alright. no matter how annoying i think he is, i hope one day, i will come to realise that he is a blessing in disguise.

went to singapore poly today. saw Seow Hung and that anorexic blonde guy who helped us out in the camp. yeah, farmer looked shocked. HAHA. SP looks cool. i think i want to go there. i need to explore more. going to CJC on tue and MJC on wed. MJC's huge.

Delia. Think Positive. says: (PM 08:53:51)

you're addicted to coke?

RAVINA says: (PM 08:53:56)

yes.

Delia. Think Positive. says: (PM 08:54:06)

are you serious.

RAVINA says: (PM 08:54:08)

i drink it everyday. i just realised.

RAVINA says: (PM 08:54:20)

i always go to the mama shop aft school to buy it.

Delia. Think Positive. says: (PM 08:54:36)

how come you don't get fat.

RAVINA says: (PM 08:55:04)

wah laoo

--------

i love coke. but then i heard it spoils your teeth. i think my teeth are getting yellow and chalky.

gotta tell 'em that we love 'em while we got the chance to say

2010-01-07T06:18:00.000-08:00

why are Singaporeans so racist? we're supposed to be living in a multi racial society. Why the hell do we friggin celebrate racial harmony day then, huh? racism is not cool, okay. seriously. put yourself in the person's shoes man. how the hell would you freaking feel? that boy gets it every single day. LEAVE HIM ALONE. it's not funny dammit. people say "you should be proud of who you are" and those people are the ones who judge people by the way people look and criticize every single thing about others. i'm happy that he's SO THA POWER but like there's a line. don't cross it. i tried to give those girls "the stare" today but i ended up embarrassing myself because i can't do it. amit said it makes people laugh instead. awh damn.

anyways, just had tuition for 4 hrs and 45 minutes. WAH LAO! the teacher told me i was his worst student ever. and that i was an embarrassment. HAHA. and when he hit me, ramita was like "OI! CHILD ABUSE" then he was like "you should call the SPCA". whatthehell.

oh damn

2010-01-05T04:07:00.000-08:00

i look so THA PRO right. uuhh. ignore what i'm wearing.

haha. gunita. haha

i forgot where my bus stopped today. and i remembered after that. so, good timing. i have a feeling that nasty old tuition man is gonna teach me soon. so yes. it's the second day of sec 3 and most of us are already dying. just look at the timetable already can faint. my broza went to acs international to take some test. might be going there instead of... uh... that school. i prefer him going to that school though. acs is too expensive. ah. everything happens for the best. i just remember who my neighbour was. and i was like OMGAWD! IT'S YOU! cheow chee would be so happy. drama elec was fun today. and i realised that i don't know a lot of people from my school. no, not the sec ones. i obviously know none of them. but the others. i never knew some of them existed. HAHA. today, kris' and i moved to the front. sooooo, now, all the 2.7 people are sitting in the front row. so cool. we laugh like idiots.

black rubberbands

2010-01-04T04:05:00.000-08:00

AHHH! MY FREAKING TEETH HURT LIKE HELL! WAH LAOO! went for a dental appointment just now. got black rubberbands. they look disgusting. and scary ish. i will get blue all the time from now on. i'm gonna be braceless within 6 months! oh-em-gee! so cool lah. 2 other people from school have the same bag as me. nah. i'm not gonna change it. it's not any of our fault we got the same bag rigghtt. so yes. i was trying to hide my bag today. haha. but today was a good day. the role of the chairperson was what i got today. uuh. i don't know what to say 'bout that. but yes. school was good. 3.7's cool. but nothing can beat 2.7.

FLIPPING HECK!

2010-01-03T02:08:00.000-08:00

reading "THE FIRE WITHIN"by Chris d'Lacey. it's so interesting. the book's actually for 12 year olds or something. i just like it cause the letters are big. it's about dragons. they go "Hhhhrrr" not "Raaar". haha. yeha. i have 20 pages left. better finish it. i'm at the part where david(the main guy) get's pissed off by the dragon family and comes back and now the dragon family's gonna tell him their secret! OMGAH! i want to know the friggin secret! k. bye. i have to do a book report on it later. that sucks.

DON'T READ THIS IF YOU'RE IN A CRAPPY MOOD

2010-01-02T10:20:00.000-08:00

eh. shit. i'm damn bored. i was learning new songs. HA. i suck. i need help. school's starting like tomorrow. yeah.

i think something is wrong with my face. i know i'm not pretty but i know i'm not ugly. make sense? i think i look like a boy. i think i act like a boy. i think i talk like a boy. fauzi calls me dude. haha. and i realised i don't like talking about boys. i don't know why. so weird right? and i also learnt that i am very good. like my family is damn pro. i don't curse. as in i don't dare to curse. i'm scared someone is listening. so i don't say the F word. and the S word. and other words. last year, i learnt the meanings of many words/ terms. yeah. i don't want to tell you the terms. it was shocking. i was like :OMG. oh yeah. and i don't know what names to call people. i only call them ass/ asswipe/ bum/ backside. yeah. oh and douche and idiot. but that's in my mind. when i talk to them i call them either ass/ asswipe/ bum or backside. i don't like calling people stupid. it is mean. omg. i realised i can't sing. haha. and i can't play the guitar for nuts. the music fiesta people lah. see them then like WAH LAO. yeah. and i'm in drama elect. the probation one. cool. and i realised that i like a certain type of boys. uuuuh. when i told kavina she was like "i seriously can't believe you're my sister". and i like the bus 14. it goes to my school and FIVE STAR CHICKEN RICE and tanah merah my brother's school. haha. after school, can go five star chicken rice. WAHH! SHIOK! haha. the disney channel "SO SYOK HOLIDAY"song is bloody annoying. at least now, they won't play it anymore. i want a friggin gibson. and a ukelele. i'll get the gibson when i'm damn good. then the ukelele i'll save the moolah. i actually already have enough. but i'll wait till O's next year's over. sezairi, the singapore idol guy has the gibson guitar i want. but i want a black version (CAUSE BABY I'M A ROCKSTAR).

this post is damn stupid. but no one reads this blog so who cares? i publish my posts so when i grow older and forget my password, i can come here and read and remember my past and shit.

the fire within.

2010-01-02T03:17:00.000-08:00

never ever do your holiday homework at the eleventh hour. went to amit's school twice today to show him the bus routes. omg. so tiring.

why am i so happy you're online? i'm not even gonna talk to you. you're not even gonna talk to me.

2009- epic

2009-12-30T22:33:00.000-08:00

i realise how messy i am

great accomplishment.

2009 has been one hell of a year. bittersweet. this was one of the best years of my life so far and one of the worst at the same time. sec 2 life was incredible with all the friends i had made. this year, i realized how lucky i was. my family's awesome. my friends are too cool. and I feel i had grown as a person this year. i wasn't as smart as i was last year, academically but i sure am smarter than i was last year, in other ways. this year, i found what i love doing, music. though i'm not that great, i'll definitely get better and i want to go far. And i also learnt that school is really important. and that ramita is uuuuh.. smarter than me. so i have to work harder. a lot harder. and yes. the bad part is that this year, a lot of cool people like michael jackson have passed on. yeah.. this year was so bad in so many different ways but i forgot. i only remember good things. HAHA. k. happy new year's eve everyone.

love you. love me.

lost little butterfly

2009-12-28T08:48:00.001-08:00

you know what's annoying?

when you have no one to talk to about something that is really important to you. yeah. you know your friends and family love you but like they won't care about your problems cause they have nothing to do with them. and it would be selfish to tell them your problems and ask them to help you solve them. and yes. i don't know who to talk to now. i think the cyber counciling thingy would be good eh. yeah. i'll try that. kidding. i'll just write it down. oh yeah. tried that. didn't work. i'll slash myself or something. that would be so cool. nah. kidding. i'm too scared to poke myself. school starting. disgusting. i'm not going for punjabi school on the first week. orientation.

i had five meals today. i want some more milo.

right i just gotta say that you're a showstopper

2009-12-26T22:01:00.000-08:00

aj rafael.

he inspired me to play the guitar and continue playing the piano. he's awesome. yeah. check him out: www.youtube.com/ilajil

oh yeah. our performance was ok. a bit suckish. but okay. i'm thinking of deleting my tagboard cause no one tags and it makes me feel like a loser. yeah, i'm deleting it. i wanna go for the flea titan. yeah. i need to get a new backpack. and shoes. my bag's torn and i'm using safety pins to keep it together and my shoes are torn as well. ah. yes. chris brown's hot. especially in the crawl video. damn. and cassie shaved her head. HAHA. i think i need a change. uuh... k. bye.

why do i blog twice a day.

2009-12-26T07:11:00.000-08:00

say hi to little puppy.

why do i blog twice a day? well, i do not know. maybe because i'm bloody bored at home. yeah. today, was a sad day. yeah. we went to st pats to get amit's stuff. we were the only ones there cause we were late. the people selling the stuff were really nice. there was a wise old man who had answered all the questions i had been asking myself yesterday. yeah. ramita went to get her hair down. i learnt i just want you on the guitar. fail. and i haven't smiled since i had heard the news. and i didn't cry. yeah. i don't know how to feel. should i be happy or sad? if i'm happy, i'll feel bad for feeling happy and if i feel sad, i'll feel selfish. yeah. kay. gotta wake up at 7 tomorrow. ncpc performance dammit.

sometimes i do not know whether you're telling the truth. that's bad.

missy

2009-12-26T01:37:00.000-08:00

rip missy.

i'll miss you licking our toes every time and we'd be annoyed and push you away. i'm sorry. i love you. you're in a better place now with your mommy.

does it feel like christmas?

2009-12-25T02:44:00.000-08:00

ah. it doesn't feel like christmas. not that i celebrate christmas but everything seems so bla. went for a christmas/birthday lunch just now. food was good. going for kfc later. i have drama on sat, sun and monday. damn. i don't want the holidays to end. i want to go the china, bloody hell. ah. yesterday, i had a dream and i learnt that family is all you need to be happy. and i shouldn't bother about my friends if they don't treat me right. i just know that my family will always me there. yeah... i'm lucky to have a family like mine. oh yeah. we went to SHAHI MAHARANI restaurant today. geddit? HAHA.

photography shit.

2009-12-23T03:46:00.000-08:00

i was pretty good eh.

what happened? yeah. i gave up cause i thought photography was stupid and that everyone was doing it and i felt i had no originality. so yeah. i stopped. but i'm starting again. i'll be better than i ever was.

WTH

2009-12-23T01:35:00.000-08:00

this sucks. i have nothing to do all day. i'm just sitting, strumming the guitar and watching loser YouTube videos. WHERETHEHELL HAS MY LIFE GONE?

yeah. i have nothing to do. my bro went to st pats today for his orientation thingy then after that, he went to acs barker to do some appealing thing. yeah. and we were at home playing monopoly. and now everyone is sleeping. because it's a boring day. I WANT TO GO OUT.

how do you do that?

2009-12-22T09:58:00.000-08:00

i'm a purdy butterfly.

i love guttu, my hippie kutta. too bad if you don't understand. google it or something.

fag, you're making me feel bad.

2009-12-21T08:43:00.000-08:00

shit man. my mom got that leather jacket from bysi. damn sexy seyy. i love it. k. yeah. i feel like vomit. cause i... nvm. listening to hey, soul sister by train now. love it. i don't feel like sleeping. i'm not tired. it's as if my day just started dammit.

shitza

2009-12-20T21:55:00.000-08:00

damn. the performance is finally over. it's kinda sad though. it ended so fast and we practiced so hard. it rhymes. anyways, i do not know what to do now. i feel like crap. i haven't received a single text from anyone for days. ah. I'm such a loser. school's starting in 14 days. i don't want it to. i wanna freeze time man.

emotional independence

2009-12-19T03:05:00.000-08:00

chris crocker. emotional independence. he looks like britney spears. really. he's the one who did the "LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE" video btw.

the way you make me feel

2009-12-18T23:22:00.000-08:00

i'm talking to nicasomnia online.

tomorrow is our performance. today was harmeet's party. he's in the crib of ours now. haha. i hate it when people say harhars. or hahas. or lols. or rofls. or wths. or lahs. so annoying. sorry. yeah. but it's not my problem. but i hate it. yes. okay. i'm gonna go now. i thought i wanted to blog about something then i forgot.

you know what i feel? i think that YOU are acting as if everything is so weird between us. and yeah. maybe both of us have the same views. or something. or maybe you treat everyone like that. i don't know. i know i treat everyone like that. so maybe it's partially my fault. but dude, you act as if nothing every happened. you used to start the conversations. or maybe you feel awkward that something did happen and you don't know what to say? i don't know. you people are CONFUSING. I DON'T GET YOU.

everything is asked for.

2009-12-18T06:08:00.000-08:00

that's nicole (don't look at me. i look like crap)

and that's naadhira

i thank god for friends like them.

-----

oh damn.

ramita and i just cleared the stuff we didn't want from our cupboard. yes cupboard. not cupboards. we share. that's why we have loads of clothes. my back hurts now. oh. and i have a blood clot in my earhole thank god it not my new one. the old one. yeah... it's pretty painful. OMG! i can't stop thinking about school. THREE MORE WEEKS. don't know if it's a good thing or a bad thing. ah. ok. metal/ screamo gives me a headache. don't know how people listen to that shit. fine not shit. but noise. fine not noise. i don't know what to call it.

everything i asked for, just a little bit more.

you're everything i asked for and so much more.

ONION

2009-12-17T06:17:00.000-08:00

i'm so cool.

i'm a butterfly.

flap. flap. flap.

go my wings.

flap. flap. flap.

----

AH. i'm so bored. went to alter our school uniforms yesterday. cool. i fixed my spectacles already. awesome. our performance is on sunday. shit. harmeet's soccer party is on saturday. i'm gonna get hurt. and i'm out. yay.

you know what? i hope that when i grow older, and look back at what i am/was now, i won't regret it. cause i'm pretty happy with myself now. but the good part is, i'll probably be cooler next time. who knows?

we'll run until we're strong enough to jump

2009-12-15T01:15:00.000-08:00

everybody sees it's you.

well i never wanna lose that view.

they are watching glee now. the disgusting episode when they try to promote their club. ee. hated that episode. i like the ballad episode. when they sing lean on me. so nice. anyways. i guess everything is pretty settled now. i'm doing my maths homework now. i hate it. why do we call it maths when the americans call it math? i think math sounds cooler, honestly. i hate algebra. it's the reason why i failed maths/math. stupid indices and quadratic equations. i do not understand you both.

all that i'm after is a life full of laughter.

2009-12-14T10:02:00.000-08:00

hey noobs. i like the word noob. it's really annoying but my brothers say it. a lot. and yes. it's annoying. but i can't stop saying it, you freaking noob.

now, i feel like i'm kinda in the right direction. i like it. i miss naadhira and nicole like whooaaa. omg. hahaha. i haha a lot. that's the funny. that's the me. i'm not really satisfied with my life just yet. i love holidays. you know why? because i learn new things about myself. and i learn new things everyday.

lessons i have learnt, these holidays:

in general.

nothing lasts forever.

signboard are really helpful.

a small spark can start a fire.

cherish everything you have.

be happy, always because once your mood turns upside down, so does everyone else's.

i need a goal in life.

i need to be more organized.

i can't hold on to something that's out of my reach.

in me

i'm actually pretty nice, believe it or not.

i talk. a lot.

i can carry on conversations really well.

i'm not as sensitive as i was before.

a dude called me a dude. i'm his buddy. haha.

i give into peer pressure easily. that's bad.

i love the arts.

i'm really scared for next year

and i haven't done mr e's homework.

------------

these are some really valuable lessons. i should open up my eyes more. no, not literally. hohohomas is coming soon. cool.

she's the prom queen top 5 in magazines

2009-12-12T05:40:00.000-08:00

these photos are so beautiful. found them in my grandparent's albums. there are even more pretty ones. like really really captivating. so nice. i love old photos. i'm like my dad. cool.

second earhole piercing babeh. i'm cool.

my hair last time.

my hair now.

if you can't see the difference, you're blind man. LOOK HOW THIN IT HAS BECOME! SO ANNOYING! I HATE IT! eeeeeeyerr. so ugly. omg. so yucky. i used to wish for thinner and shorter ish hair and now, it's ugly. so, be careful of what you wish for.

everything is screwed up now. and please don't die. thank you.

please understand

2009-12-11T06:13:00.001-08:00

we know you hate us right now. but we just want you to know why we did it before you judge our actions. you are our friend and we don't want you to get hurt anymore. we're really sorry. you might never talk to us again but just hope you understand.

hope this hurts you more than i can stand to say.

2009-12-11T03:31:00.000-08:00

you deserve the right to know. but we don't deserve what you are doing to us and how you're making us feel. so, we're gonna let the both of you settle it. because everything is getting just a little bit annoying. we, as friends are trying to help you realise your mistakes. not to backstab you. at all. sorry.

ah. ha. ah. ha. i tried to help an old woman in the bus today. i was like "you need help?" but she replied by saying "i like your hat.". wow. so cute. haha. i love children (0-3 years old) and old people. they are so adorable. i'm so thirsty. screamed too much at amelyn's party today. ahah. it was so fun.

i'm a little butterfly

2009-12-08T22:31:00.000-08:00

i need to talk to someone man. i was supposed to go out today. but dad said no. because i went out yesterday. and on monday. i'm not going anywhere tomorrow, friday, and on saturday. i miss my guitar. i want to play with it. i makes me feel calm. and i want to take photos. but the stuff around my house are so lame and amateur like. i like taking head shots. they are so nice. especially when the model has big hair and when the face is like really focused. wah. so nice. on msn with ramita now. she went to mom's office. i just realised that she says lol. haha. i hate using lol. that's why i say haha a lot. and i realised a lot of people don't know if a lot is one word or two words. it's 2 words. and there is no such thing as fishes. it's fish. dude.

not again.

2009-12-08T19:28:00.000-08:00

i had to say goodbye to my colored contacts yesterday.

i need to fix my spectacles.

yesterday was not my day. was really down for no reason. i started regretting a lot of stuff i had done in the past. and i felt sad. and i feel like i'm starting to give up really easily now and it's as if i've lost faith in everything. on sunday, i realized that nothing can last forever. nothing lasts for long. everything has to end. so i'm starting to think that way and i guess it's bad. but i know that i can't hold on to something that is out of my reach. ah. see. i'm quite deep.

i don't think i don't want to feel that way towards you.

there's so much time to figure out thaw best in my life.

2009-12-08T04:00:00.000-08:00

got my second ear hole today. and a new ring. and i painted my nails gold.

i'd be so happy if i could sing and harmonize as well as the glee cast. i'd be so happy if i could play the guitar as well as john mayer or james morrison.
i'd be so happy if i were as good in art as the people from devianart.
i'd be so happy if i were as smart as einstein or something.
i'd never get bored.
---------

one day, the guitar thing will happen. not so sure about the rest. i feel the urge to study. crap. crap. crap. crap. crap. I HAVE TUITION TOMORROW. i didn't do my friggin homework. shit.

BURN

2009-12-07T03:32:00.001-08:00

cool or what?

i discovered a new app in my phone a few days ago. it's cool. name: PS mobile (photoshop mobile). heh. miss the music fiesta peeps man. went out with aisyah and her friend, elfi today to watch new moon then went to macs with iffa, keels, mary, abi and tay min. then headed to miss tan's house. wow. long day huh.

i've gotta figure out a way to get away from this shit.

move on

2009-12-04T07:27:00.000-08:00

i need to forget it.

i need to stop talking about it.

i need to act as if nothing ever happened.

i need to stop thinking about it.

i need to get off the phone.

i need to start on my homework.

i need to stop feeling this way.

i need to reconnect with my other friends.

i need to talk to ramita more often.

although i might see you again, i need to forget ever feeling this way, i need to forget what happened because nothing is ever gonna happen.

i'm going to forget you.

what do i do now

2009-12-04T05:36:00.000-08:00

hehe. pck.

it's the climb.

god knows who took this.

and this.

she got a friggin strike and it was her first time bowling. wth

sup. on wednesday, i was out with the music fiesta people. fun shit. the beach part. and the bowling. the rest was a bit awkward. i miss them already. especially aisyah and nicole. but at least i can see nicole everyday. cool. we're thinking of going to the jamming studio another time. facebook dramarama going on. k. bye.

hehe. you're damn cute.

i scream you scream we all scream

2009-12-01T05:36:00.001-08:00

broza.

i'm a paranoid person. for me, everything must rum smoothly, otherwise i can't sleep. i got that from my mom. i'm quite care-free other than that. as in i'm cool-ish. got that from my dad. both are good, i guess. calling aisyah and nicole later. i painted my nails black with glitter on it. i like it. kay. i need to take my contacts off. kay. bye.

2009-11-30T03:59:00.000-08:00

omg. why am i so short tempered? i get angry so fast. omg. i hate it. i feel like a teacher. i need to chill man. life's too short. ohmygod.

all the right friends at all the right places.

2009-11-30T02:46:00.000-08:00

well drama was cool, i guess. i wasn't really in the mood today for anything. i just wanted to eat. today is not my day. i hate it when people don't reply their texts. they keep you waiting like forever and after a few hours, you realise they're never gonna reply. so you have to call them to get the answer. it's so annoying. going out with the music.f peeps on wednesday. for bowling. was looking forward to it. now, not really. i'm damn hungry.

today mr lee said Indians can't pronounce "TH". whatthehell. stereotypical man. i can pronounce "th".

my cool dad's getting us filters and a fisheye lens for the camera.

what if

2009-11-29T07:04:00.000-08:00

what if i never see you again? that would suck.

screw it

sticky

2009-11-28T08:43:00.000-08:00

went to escape themepark today. they have removed all the cool rides like the upside-down ride and pepsi and the spider one. after the rides, went to the computer fair and bought $100 worth of $10 iPhone covers. tomorrow, i'm following dad to the camera shop to get the fisheye lens. we're going to have a picnic too.

lipstick lullabies

2009-11-26T03:20:00.000-08:00

hooray! we are all in the same class next year! i look disgusting. but yay.

i smell chicken. i'm hungry. the man at the mama shop wished ramita and i selamat hari raya. don't celebrate hari raya. but thanks man. ramita and i were like " i think he thought we were like indian muslims or malays or something. cool. we're cool ". amit got back his results. st pats most probably. he tried his best.

highlight of today: mrs wong said i was good at playing the piano.

awesome. i'm going to go to grade 8. i want to. don't know if i'd be alive by then. i'm in grad 3 now. just became grade 3 like a month ago. haha. i've been playing since i was in k2. whatthehell right. nicole's been playing since p1 or something and she's doing her diploma now. bloody hell.

you got here just in time to let me know i was worth saving

2009-11-25T20:33:00.000-08:00

i just realised that i get excited over the smallest things. that needs to stop. and i realised that i love jokes. let me tell you one.

why did the man sit on the clock?

------------

he wanted to be on time.

------------

hahahahahah.

funny right. wait another one.

what did the lizard say to the other lizard that fell down?

------------

tsk! tsk! tsk! tsk!

------------

and another one. aisyah told us. i love this.

which animal cheats the most?

------------

cheetah!

------------

haha. gourh it? amit is getting his PSLE results today. i know he'll do well.

cool

2009-11-25T07:28:00.000-08:00

do you know what i realised? i never change class. in primary school, i was in p1HI, p2HI, p3HI, p4HI, p5HI, p6HI. and in secondary school, 1/7, 2/7, 3/7 and 4/7. cool or what? this is the first time in 8 years, when naomi and i are not in the same class. damnn.

i wonder who's loving you.

2009-11-24T21:27:00.000-08:00

i need to stop saying lah. need. it sickens me. meeting nicole at lavender at 2.30. im gonna be late. crap. I GOT INTO 3.7 BABY! cobi 2. awesome. i wanted combi 1. but it wasn't my first choice. my smart evil twin got into triple science. because she can cope. i can't. the drama elect audition was today. i was too tired to act. but i tried my best. highlight of the day: i bought coke. see how boring my holidays are?

rusty halo- the script

2009-11-22T20:42:00.000-08:00

i think i do not act fourteen. i think i act 12. sometimes. a few people thought i was 12. cool. haha. as long as they don't think i'm older than i actually am, it's fine. i have drama later. then piano after that.

when i think about the future, it paints a scary picture. i don't know. i feel so yucky right now. and i don't know why. it feels like something is wrong. somewhere. everything happens for the best. i may not know it now but i will sooner or later.

bad romance- lady gaga

2009-11-21T09:30:00.000-08:00

hello. i think i talk on the phone too much now. i'll stop. soon. when everything is in place. it's getting there. some people are being confusing or are confused. and yes. not in place. today, we had the performance. for the ncpc. again. it went well. some lady i didn't know introduced me to her friend aft the performance. haha. i felt cool. had a mass conv today. might have another one tomorrow. we need to stop. haha. i don't want to. btu we need to. my family's getting upset. i think i'll call in when everyone else in the house is asleep. today, aisyah accidently said something she should not have said. HAHA.

we cry- the script

2009-11-18T05:17:00.000-08:00

i think i want to have a conference right now. but i don't want to at the same time. i'm tired. it's so fun to talk to aisyah. haha. we went shopping today. i'm so happy. HA. HA. i have piano tomorrow. i don't want to go.

you gotta friend in me

2009-11-17T10:23:00.000-08:00

i'm bored. on the phone with aisyah, zhafran, fauzi and nazri. aisyah, zhafran and i were on the phone since 10. it's 3.45 a.m.. omg. haha. dayum. we're waiting for the meteor shower thing. staying awake. till 6. awesome.

i thought we could wait for the fireworks.

2009-11-14T03:31:00.000-08:00

yesterday's mass convo sucked. haha. like seriously. we had nothing to talk about. and there was only one guy. the rest put the phones down cause they were too bored or because they wanted to play video games. yeah. we're having another one today. it better not suck. i'm gonna have low expectations. but like it can be fun at times. there are some awkward silences. awkward. but before it started, something happened. i was happy. now i'm not. i'm bored. with nothing to do. i'm bored. i wanna call nicole. but she's always busy. my family thinks i'm becoming anorexic and i don't want to eat and yes. but it's not that i don't want to eat. it's that i can't. my stomach gets pain. but i'll try. i've already lost weight. i need to put on more and become normal again. ooh! i just got a text from aisyah.